Friday, February 29, 2008

angry rant. a.k.a longest post ever.

gentle reader,

today i want to discuss why i despise most people. this may very well include you.

**ladies. i do not want to bloody hear about your babies. and how cute they are. and how ahead of the learning curve they are. and how smart they are. and how they said the funniest things today! THEY ARE USUALLY JUST LIKE ANY OTHER BABY THAT IS BORN EVERY DAY. in fact, this is just how UN-SPECIAL AND COMMONPLACE you and your baby really are:

4 births each second of every day
245 births each minute
14,709 births each hour
353,015 births per day
128.9 million births per year

yes, i will smile, nod, widen my eyes appropriately at statistics given to you by your dr about how awesome you baby is, BUT I DO NOT CARE. i don't! there. i said it. call me a shit head.

(please note that i am much more tolerant to these things only if i know the woman/child--sisters, close close friends.)(i'm not a total asshole.)

**pedestrians. you are in my way. when i am walking, and when i am driving. i guess you are too busy being fat and stupid as you meander around the sidewalk and the middle of the road. well. i'm just going to start considering running you all over. i'm just sayin'.




**men. i will no longer tolerate shitty behavior! we women are not objects, weak or dumb. (well ok, there are some out there. yes. they dwell in walmart, mostly.) i have hit one boy repeatedly in the face, punched another in the eye, and verbally brought a third to his knees- all this year only! and all in the name of standing up for myself and my integrity. i am overwhelmed and sickened by the dropping of standards in the treatment of women. i'm not going to go out and rally about it or become some crazy feminist lesbo to get my point across, but do it around me, and you WILL have a black eye. not an idle threat.

**girls. why in heavens name would you ever ever ever buy ugg boots? i keep a tally of how many i see each day on campus. it averages out to 13. throw on your faux-fur trimmed puffy white coat, mid-calf length terry cloth work out pants and your biggest hoop earrings-- mother fucker! you are one fashionable bitch. look how they make this woman so much cooler than she already is.


actually, every time i see a girl wearing a pair, i venomously think of a way i could ruin them as i walked by...throw up...black ink...knifing them as i saunter by...and i automatically assume the girl is a total mindless consumer whore who will never be able to hold up a conversation. based on her boots. how shallow can i be?


i absolutely realize this is a very stupid post, and i could go on and on and on about how much i hate people. but it's mostly just today. this is most certainly a product of lack of sleep for days and days and being surrounded by IDIOTS in my daily life. srsly. guh. i am in a very bad mood and i just want to steal a car. an insanely fast car, then a jet, fly to sweden to smoke ganja, drink absinthe and bang every hot guy i can get my arms around. then wake up laying in bed draped with adorable puppies. while getting an all day message by all the men i just banged, i will be eating cheese and european chocolate whilst listening to jens lekman. gaaaaah. oh and, all this in a giant hot air balloon.

don't know who jens lekman is? shame on you. here, let me help you:




Wednesday, February 27, 2008

things! wonderful things!

probably the funniest craigslist add i have ever laid eyes upon. worth the quick read. especially if you enjoy the fuck word as much as i do.

so today at the post office (my place of work) i was just typing typing typing away when all of the sudden,i thought i might actually know who lives at the address i saw flashing before my eyes...i wrote it down, made a text, and hoohah! it was rory homan's mum's house in oregon! how wicked awesome is that? wait did that even make sense?

also. moving blows. anyone want to come help me move? again, the offer still stands for the making of delicious food, bj's, whatev. i'm open for suggestions.

here! enjoy some music i just uploaded. some old favorites of mine.








Sunday, February 24, 2008

emotional guts.

i'm having a near death remembrance. i think i'm going to be sick.


hours later, and on the plus side, i just found these:








the fun is all from
here. i would highly suggest looking at these pictures. i did for over an hour. seriously.

Friday, February 22, 2008

blah blah blah blah blah blah

for big reasons and little reasons, i can not sleep. there is too much music, too many amazing people and too much art for me to ever rest again. oh and food. amongst other things. i would highly suggest that everyone who is not either boning right this second or halfway through pizza from the pi must see this movie right away!! it is one of the most beautiful films i have ever seen.




also, my puppy has gut rot gas of death. i think i threw up in my mouth a little.

STORY: so i pulled over today to take pictures of a freshly smashed deer in the road. all four legs were bent in the wrong direction, and it's big pink tongue was lolling out the smashed mouth. can you even imagine the incredibleness of the photos? well. you will just have to do exactly that because a cop pulled over and yelled at me declaring that i was truly disgusting! and would not let me take any photos. he didn't want to hear my pleas that i am an artist who probably wants to paint it, and really likes roadkill, and i promise i wasn't touching it! what a butt plug. so i hope you enjoyed my story minus the awesome visuals. well no, here. let us not totally disappoint! this is the last deer i found. not as fresh, but equally as amazing.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

yummy things.

i am now officially a united states postal worker. here i am portrayed as a mail carrier. and bald. just look how sexy it seems to make me feel to deliver your mail!!





in other news, i am moving out of my apartment to a different home.i got a new job and a new boyfriend. and my beautiful babies are all in excellent condition. and by babies i mean my horde of pets. not my egg clutch. i am about to pop out some paintings which have been dwelling in my itchy fingertips for some time now. so! this is all very exciting. and big! good job quinn. good job. enjoy a video and some awesome tunes.







Thursday, February 14, 2008

post valentines day. aka "the mexican food and russell stover's chocolates that are pleasantly rotting in my guts."

let me sum all of today in one exciting video.




it all began with feather comforters and puppy snuggles, commenced with me stuffing my face with shitty chocolates out of a red foil, heart shaped box. let it be known that i had a day full of food. puppies. family. hair dye. chocolate. snow. bills. decisions. sad tears. happy tears. sexy times. flowers. warm conversations. warm tom. music. life is most surprising.

ALSO: so this is what the volume knob is for. turn it fucking up.

valentines day is for suckers anyways. also! HELP!

happy dry humping, levi lovin' day.




UUUGGH. OK. I NEED HELP DESPERATELY. i need one of two things: to find a ridiculously cool place to live in by the end of this month!!! must be closer to downtown under $400 that will allow me, nina, bruce, george michael and maebe to all live in OR someone to move into my place with me that is willing to pay $387 plus utilities. GAAAH! ideas anyone?? i'll do anything. beg, cook you delicious food, bj's, whatever.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

oh jose.

happy unhappy anniversary of dying jose. that was really stupid of you. but, i love you anyways. i miss you with all my heart and soul. oh, and, beagle nuts.



a song that makes me think sweetly of you.






Tuesday, February 12, 2008

"quinn was here."

now i know EXACTLY what to do to the mother humpers that get in my way.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

barbarella.

one of my new favorite films: barbarella. nothing is hotter then seeing jane fonda being spilled out of a plastic space suit butt naked, gliding around in zero gravity. oh, and, banging everyone in sight. from a feathery blind angel to a s&m evil queen. not only does she get attacked by fanged dolls that sexily tear her nylons to shreds, she gets punished the "excessive machine"- a musical organ that is supposed to kill her by giving intense orgasms that are just too much to handle! wow! she is so hot, it's almost enough to make me switch teams. this clip is the first 4 minutes 48 seconds of the film. i hope you enjoy it as much as i did.




also, look at this awesome picture i just found.

DEAR you know exactly who you are:

i want to drink rice milk with you.
i want to drive on the wrong side of the road with you.
i want to go to my favorite graveyard and read books with you.
i want to build a snow cave with you.
i want to make fun of your musical taste.
i want to get really fat with you.
i want to get arrested with you for something totally ridiculous.
i want to wear your underwear on my head.
i want to go to new zealand with you and become wild jungle people.
i want to give you a billion blowjobs.
i want to let off illegal fireworks with you.
i want to go to a civilized lunch with you. and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.
i want to see your eyes go big and buggy with excitement all the time.
i want to have a bubble gum blowing contest with you.
i want to go to the zoo with you.
i want to drive really fast with you.
i want to take the longest roadtrip ever with you.
i want to hold your hand.
i want to hear every damn detail about your life. how often you piss. color of your toothbrush.
i want to have a super nacho eating contest with you.
i want to you to be my valentine.
i want to do ganja with you. what? hah.
i want to watch sympathy for lady vengeance with you.
i want to believe your compliments.
i want to doorbell ditch with you.
i want to own a bunny with you.
i want to brush my teeth with you.
i want to have you push me around in a shopping cart.
i want, well...you.

this is exactly how you make me feel.




thank you for randomly stepping into my life when i least expected it.

Friday, February 8, 2008

one.

butterflies and rapid heart beats.
meeting with my tattoo artist. plans.
donuts in the parking lot. for 15 minutes.
punching an asshole directly in the eye.
popping a squat in the post office parking lot.
having absolutely NO money.
having SO much money.
and then no money. again.
an intense lunch. of which i will not explain.
a 360 on the freeway.
the best orgasm. ever.
the dumbest, most costly mistake in years.
being hit up and harassed by a forty year old married man.
technically getting kicked out my home.
music.
music.
music.
all this, just in this week alone.

how very, very delicious.